"...but the movement proved only to be a
squirrel preparing to hop the fence"

"Behind Hope"

My darling Shoo-Fly:

Has it really been a year since we sat together?
Sometimes it seems like only yesterday...
yet other times it seems so long ago.

I am gradually realizing Shoo that you won't
be there when I look out for you.
But how difficult is the word "never" for
the heart to comprehend!

So often I look out my window and
still think I see you there...
as two blades of sun-dried grass
appear to be the ears of a rabbit
crouching
along the back fence.

Or the old root of the evergreen tree
that has risen slightly above the ground
will look exactly like a small brown
cottontail lying in the shade of the branches.

And so often at night,
the shadows cast between the trees
appear to be a rabbit,
dancing in the moonlight.

How I miss you my beloved friend!!

Once I saw movement back
by the garden fence
and I thought...
just for a moment...
that you had come back to me.

A mistake had been made on
that Mother's Day last May!

The bunny lying so still in
the neighbor's yard
had not been you...

but another.

But in running out the door on
the wings of hope I was
soon to discover...
that the movement proved only to be a
squirrel preparing to hop the fence...

and the two blades of sun-dried grass
really were two blades of sun-dried grass...
and not the ears of a rabbit
crouching along the fence.

And the risen root of the evergreen tree
was no more than that...
just a risen root...
and not a small brown cottontail
lying in the shade.

Sitting down on the step
looking only at my own lonely shadow...
I wondered.

One day will I look out my window
and really see you there??

Will we sit together then as in time ago...
sharing treats and apples
and watching for our star?

My darling Shoo,
each time I look out my window
I hope that this is so.

Written to Shoo: April 2000